My Feelings to Date

So far I've greatly enjoyed my personal study, but it hasn't been all that easy. It's incredibly time consuming to purchase  all of my food from a wide variety of "non-mainstream' sources, and cooking all of my own meals (and then cleaning all of those dishes, of course), while being a full-time college student, working a part time job, teaching exercise classes, being involved in Greek life, and performing necessary life functions like sleeping. I don't want to be a complainer though, since the decisions to be involved in these things have been entirely my own, and as much as I have been struggling to "keep my head above water," I know that it is extremely worthwhile. Nevertheless, it's frustrating that I can never "eat on the run," or take a quick trip to a convenience store when I run out of something.

I don't have a ton of cooking experience, and it's difficult to come up with new ideas for meals everyday. This is a double-edged sword, however, for a feel that this is simultaneously one of the best elements of my project, as it manifests creativity out of necessity.

All this has made me believe that we as humans greatly take our food sources for granted. I've noticed that human food is literally EVERYWHERE - there are very few places where I can escape the realm of the commercialized food industry. We have no connection to the food we eat, and most of the time don't have any clue what it is we're having our bodies consume. Our lives are literally centered around eating and drinking - we are the "planets" and food is our "sun" - and we do not in any way give food the respect it deserves. I have become acutely conscious of these elements of food in the last 2 weeks.

Though I feel far more connected not only to the food I'm eating but to northwestern Pennsylvania as a whole, I feel separated from my peers. I've eaten alone more in the last 2 weeks than I ever remember in my college career, and it gets lonely. I'll sometimes eat dinner simultaneously with my roommates or friends, but don't really share in the experience of eating with anyone. Along the same lines, I've noticed the great extent to which my social life was previously centered around alcohol. Although I plan on atleast attempting to brew some hard cider, I haven't gotten around to it yet, and I haven't been drinking since my project began. I'm finally 21 and can go to bars, but don't really have fun sitting around watching everyone drink. This has caused me to reassess my prior social life and friendships, for I feel it was very shallow. I've been trying to come up with non-alcohol related fun, researching haunted houses, fall fun activities like Franklin's Apple Fest, movies times, and shopping trips.

Even though I've been working very hard on my project, I worry constantly about the future. I feel like sometimes I'm so consumed by what I'm going to be eating at the end of November that what I'm going to eat tomorrow never crosses my mind, which makes it more difficult to juggle with a busy schedule. I've learned the value of preparation and am trying to plan ahead more not just for months from now, but for a few days from now. Every time I can or freeze something I think to myself, "I don't have nearly enough food!! What am I going to do?!?!" And I have to refocus and center myself (with the help of loving friends) to get back on track. I also get nervous about canning after having learned about botulism - a fatal illness one gets from consuming improperly canned foods. I've been as careful as can be after learning this, but the thought still lingers.

As I said earlier, I feel very disconnected from our "food society," but I've had a few personal food "victories" that make me feel like I'm still a human in the 21st century. First, I made potato chips - one of my absolute favorite foods/reasons for living. Ice cream was also a huge success. Probably my most satisfying purchase though was my crystallized maple syrup candy. The fact that I bought them in a store, packaged, and they come in a variety of different shapes, was psychologically relieving.

Another thing that has made me feel uncomfortable is talking with local farmers about their growing practices. This seems like it should be so easy, and it is when they use organic techniques; but when they aren't completely organic, they tend to feel (atleast it seems to me) like I'm criticizing them, or unhappy with their product. For example, at the Market House last Saturday, I went over to a table that had delicious looking raspberries. As I walked over, the farmer saw me eyeing them up, and he picked up a handful and held them in front of my face saying "Try these!!". It was awkward to refuse him, and after asking "do you treat them with any chemicals?", he tried to dodge the question until his coworker told me that they were sprayed with an anti-molding chemical (probably the reason they looked so beautiful to begin with).

Physically, I'm feeling great. I'm not sure whether its the placebo effect or whether its reality, but I feel like I'm "detoxing." My only concern at this point (other than death by botulism) is the lack of sodium in my diet. I haven't found any sources of salt, and though I've been trying to figure out foods that are naturally high in sodium, I feel that this is one of the greatest dietary changes I've encountered thus far. I had no idea how incredibly high in sodium our processed food is - literally EVERYTHING has sodium in it! - which has represented another challenge, since I can't get even cheese or butter with no salt in it. I've researched the effects of low sodium, or "hyponatremia," and I've felt a few of the symptoms, like light headedness and fatigue. I'm not sure if they're related to one another, but I'm still a little concerned about it, and am becoming more aware of sodium in my diet.

All in all, I'm very proud of my project and I am staunchly committed to seeing it through. I recognize that there are sacrifices involved, but more than that I am gaining incredible practical knowledge of cooking and preserving food, as well as the sources and processes our food undergoes. Not only am I benefitting physically from a healthier diet, but I am becoming emotionally strengthened and enriched by my organic diet of local foods.